Here are some warning signs that a person you have met or are starting a relationship with may be a Narcissist.
He may blame every mistake of his, every inadequacy or mishap on other people, or on the world at large.
He may be hypersensitive to slights and insults. He may treat children or animals with little thought and respect.
He may be too keen to get more time together and create a whirlwind relationship.
He can immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life and press for exclusivity and instant intimacy. He may text or phone you incessantly, or need to know where you are at all times.
He may not respect your boundaries and privacy, or may ignore your wishes, or want to be included in everything you do.
He may tend to want to control the situation and you compulsively, eg insist you ride in his car, hold on to the car keys, the money, or the theatre tickets. He may disapprove if you are away for too long, and interrogate you when you return. He may insist on a certain way of dressing.
He may act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticise you often. He may emphasise your smallest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealises you).
He may be wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general.
He may tell you that you make him feel good. Next thing, he may tell you that you make him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you provoke him.
He adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness or amused indifference.
He takes part in social interactions and banter condescendingly, from a position of superiority.
He may ask for special treatment of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements, and can
frequently and embarrassingly dress down service providers such as restaurant staff or taxi drivers.
He flatters, adores, admires and applauds you in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner.
In general, he prefers show-off to substance and is shallow. He will not admit to ignorance or to failure in any field.
He may brag incessantly. His speech is peppered with I, my, myself, and mine. He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative, but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.
His past life may sound unusually rich and complex. His achievements often seem beyond his age and education. Yet, his actual condition is in reality incompatible with his claims. He name-drops and appropriates other people’s experiences and accomplishments as his own.
He likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.
In general, he is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits, unless and until he is the topic of discussion.
If you ask him about his emotions, he will intellectualise, rationalise, or talk about himself in the third person and in a detached scientific tone.
He may become enraged when required to examine his motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs.
He is usually very serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humour, scathing and cynical, but rarely does he make jokes at his own expense.
If you have found that you are already in a relationship with a Narcissist, and would like relationship counselling, or help in leaving a Narcissist, contact us at the Hart Centre Australia. We have over 50 Psychologists around Australia who have been educated in Narcissism and can knowledgably help you in dealing with your situation. We also offer Skype sessions for overseas clients or those you can’t attend one of our centres. Phone Australia 1300 830 553, or +617 55190004